mmmMMMonday . . . New Mexico, GRL, and A Picture of Penis!

Before take- off!

CAUTION!! The following is the TRUE tale of two people's journey to New Mexico.  And what happened at the Gay Romance Literature retreat.  No names have been changed because they're are no innocent! YOU WERE WARNED! Article by Wt and Julie Prater

TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY                                                   
      "So before we began what was to be a 25 hour journey to GRL, there was of course a lot of very last minute packing.  In a few hours we were due in Memphis to pick up the third for our cross country journey, Miss Allison Cassatta. (Miss Cassatta could not be reached to confirm or deny this story).  And just fyi, although we were traveling to New Mexico this tale does not include any aliens or space ships although if we had been abducted it would have been a faster journey.  As it was we encountered two major traffic jams (just before we got to Memphis and just after we left) that cost us 3 hours of driving time. We stopped at Denny’s (a Prater tradition since that is where we met) in two different states, Oklahoma and Arkansas.  There were few memories that we had that were more traumatizing than Julie Waking to see a giant cross and the giant guy on the horse that tried to wrangle her from which she had to be saved by Will." ---Julie

Captured!

Saved!

                                                                            

      "Upon arrival to the Hard Rock Casino and Hotel we were impressed  by it’s grandeur.  For a fairly inexpensive hotel it was very posh. And overall incredibly friendly and helpful.  The first person I saw was Eden Winters searching frantically for her packages at the conciege station. While Julie unloaded the car and had our bags delivered up to the room and Allison too pooped to talk nearly crawled to her room, I stalked the lobby looking for other people from last year's GRL.  As I saw Kate McMurray standing in line and started meeting up with people from the previous year, I heard movement behind me. Xara X Xanakas had already put down her cup and was ready for the oncoming battle. Head up, arms open, she assumed attack pose." ---Wt

     "Well, the first thing I heard was an unnatural noise, something like a squee of joy, and then at the speed of light, he was running across the lobby at her. They embrace seemed to last forever, i couldn't tell if he was attacked her or giving her Heimlich backwards. And da same thing with Poppy Dennison. I was scared, so scared." --- General Onlooker

     "I was just excited to see them all. I realize the same thing kept happening over and over again with shorter hugs as I encountered people from the previous year especially my writing Family: Poppy Dennison, Michelle L Montgomery, Cherie Noel, Xara, L.C. Chase, M J O'Shea, Eden and so many others.  And it does need to be mentioned that Missy Welsh you were missed!" ---Wt

     "He was flying around, meeting up with various people he had been chatting with online such as Sara York (who gave lots of free books) Ellis Carrington, and Edmond Manning.  We were so hungry that when he stopped for a moment, I plead for food. He asked about places and we ended up as Tiwa eating with Xara, Zach Sweets and his partner Neil, K-lee Klein, Adara, Shae Conner, Piper Vaughn and Sue.  The food at Tiwa was awesome, particularly the egg rolls and coconut sauce.

     During dinner William proposed to K-lee because she needed a "conventional" husband. And since we believe in poly relationships, she became the third wive, behind Julie and Xara. (Because, of course, Will had married Xara at the last convention so that was still in effect.)  He even got them a ring (pop) each in their next adventure.

     J. P. Barnaby showed up during dinner to say hi and ask for a small favor: Could anyone drive her to Wal-Mart?  Will, in his usual nature, volunteered me. So the five of us (Will, J.P., Shae, Adara and I) went on a little excursion to wal-mart for candy and picture frames."---Julie

    "We got back to the hotel, and Julie and I took much needed showers and then went to early registration! Getting checked in was done with a quickness, which amazed everyone. Many kudos to the volunteers and organizers for speeding up last years process. The only thing I missed was my t-shirt!

All the swag.

      At some point a black hole occurred and a few hours disappeared because the next thing we remember we were at Fusion505 with a large group of GRLers and eating not so great food. However it did give us the opportunity to hang out with KC Burn and her husband Alex and talk to Elisa who hosts the Rainbow Awards. And of course get to know Adara a little better, which is only right, with her being a fellow Nashvillian.  After a long day that had actually started Tuesday morning we finally headed to the room and crashed after hanging out with William Cooper and Anel Viz, our roommates, ever so briefly." ---Wt

THURSDAY

     "Thursday morning came too soon, as I headed down to the main room to get the prime swag ahead of Julie. Within the first half hour or so of being there, I lost my phone in my abundant swag wrangling fervor. Luckily Julie was there to save the day and hawked the registration table until it was turned in. Some of the memorable swag was: Christopher Koehler’s giant blue bags, B A Tortuga had some awesome squishy bulls, Kiernan Kelly had some kickass nude playing cards, Vicktor Alexander's notebooks were awesome and of course, Joyee Flynn's pecker checkers. "--Wt

Bottom Corner, Wt!

 "All the publishers had awesome giveaway items, cups and calendars, and such. There were some yummy book sales. So of course Will started yoinking them up asap. I noticed from across the room that Kiernan Kelly grabbed Will and took him over to the Torquere table and showed him a piece of swag.  Much squeeing and bouncing occurred at this point. It turns out that his name was on one of the cards announcing his first published short story, Two Tiny Secrets. The swag room was so awesome (six bags of swag!) that I was late for the newbie meet and great and was just in time to be advised that it was rude to hop in and out of the various sessions.  At which point is when Will wondered off." ---Julie

Blinged out!

"I escaped when I got a text from Lissa Kasey asking where I was. So I joined her and Xara for another meal at Tiwa, and then we all went to the Musa spotlight to learn more about that publishing company. I got to talk and hang out with Elizabeth Silver, Kelly and Carrie Mand.  Meanwhile, Julie went and pimped the hell out of her badge." ---Wt

     "Next was the Red Hot Pictionary. So various audience member were picked, and we had to draw a picture of the word they received based on an exerpt from the book Unconventional Love. When it was Devon Rhodes’ turn to pick someone, Will got chosen. What followed was nothing short of a laugh riot.

The Unconventional Writer's and Julie!

     As the panelists, the authors of the book sat there (Carol Lynne, Jambrea Jo Jones, T.A. Chase, Amber Kell,  and Stephanie Hecht, and Devon Rhodes),Will attempted to draw his word. The first part of the drawing appeared to be a candy corn and next to it a rocket, I thought it was a dildo vs. a butt plug but nope, foreskin. After the audience laughed for about five minutes, Will then read the exerpt, which was even funnier. There is video out there of Will reading the exerpt if you would like to search for it, it isn't hard to find." ---Julie

     "Then we went to the Resplendence Q and A. And hung out with Xara, Lissa, Zach and his honey. Afterwords, we all wanted non-hotel food. So we ended up traversing out to Cervesas for lunch. There were 7 of us (K-lee had joined us at that point). The restaurant was very good, but the thing that amazed us were the decorations. (Pictures coming soon). Then we rushed back to the hotel and were only a few minutes late for the opening ceremonies which MLR hosted. I sat with AJ Kelton, and Brandi (Will's roomates from the previous year) while Will floated like a butterfly around the room talking to everyone and anyone." ---Julie

     "To finish up that night, we celebrated at the Gentlemans Juke Joint, where we sat with Keirnan Kelly and her husband and watched the mediocre strippers that didn't really strip (or dance with the guys much). Cat Grant stopped by and hung out with us a bit, and I won some books by Barry Brennessel (OMG! So cute!) Apparently, we left before the best dancing started. According to Adara and her video phone, Damon Suede and Jared took the stage and burned it down, SO DAMN HOT!" ---Wt

 COMING TOMORROW . . . .

PART TWO: THE JOURNEY INTO THE CITY, THE WORSE DANCING EVER, 

AND THE FINAL FAREWELL!

More to come! The journey into the city!

The Question Game, Chapter One

This entire short story is available on the Goodreads M/M Group (I can help you find it, whether or not you're already on Goodreads) . . . or you can read it bit by bit here. Keep in mind, this is my first PUBLISHED work, so give it love. Let me know what you think good, bad, but hopefully not too ugly. Because I value every opinion who takes the time to read my writing. . . Thanks in advance, and hope you enjoy . . .

PS The story is also available in EPUB, if you want it that way, let me know !!

THE QUESTION GAME
by Wt Prater

　
****

     You know your sex life is boring when you start counting the tiles in the ceiling, or worse, the pimples on his back. And that, sadly, described mine even before Zach and I broke up. I was about to flip open one of the many books on his night stand and start reading when he finally came, which meant that I could stop acting like I was enjoying myself and get the fuck out of there.

     But as he flopped onto the bed and turned over, he pulled me down into his embrace and because I am not a heartless prick, I laid with him while he went on and on about how much this meant to him. Meanwhile, I was playing The Question Game in my head.

     “What are you thinking about?” I heard him ask after a couple seconds of silence.

     “Well, I ---” I started, but before I could speak more than a few words, he interrupted me, talking about this and that, nothing of which I cared about, until eventually, he talked himself to sleep.

     I took the opportunity and left. Normally, I would have written a note but I didn’t figure he cared. Why? Because the only question he asked me, he never let me answer.

     This is why I started playing the question game with all my friends. The question game is about give and take. It’s pretty simple: Ask a question, and wait for an answer. There is no rhyme or reason for the game, except for curiosity. It's how I could show that I was interested and cared about my friends. I wanted to know them, and love them. I didn’t know what kind of questions they would ask or where it would lead.
___
Chapter 1. First Things First, What a Boy Wants

     As Jonathan Grant walked through their house, he had the wedding invitation in one hand and his vodka straight up in the other. He admired and simultaneously hated all the pretty things he walked past that he and his partner, Ian, had collected over the past three years. As he walked around the living room, looking at the pictures of celebrations, and the souvenirs they had collected from their various trips, Jonathan found himself getting more upset.

     On top of the mantle sat one of the biggest reminder of their differences and the time they had spent, or at this point Jonathan felt wasted together: a silver picture frame. The frame was carved with the words “I love you’ in different languages and it contained a picture of the two of them on vacation in Hawaii for their two-year anniversary. Jonathan always stared at that picture, because it was so beautiful. The way his already brown skin contrasted with Ian’s lily-white complexion so much more even after Ian had been in the sun for almost a week haunted Jonathan.

     Other memorabilia surrounded him. Bowling trophies they had won together in their league. Pictures of their families and social circle. Black and white. One of them always stood out, whether they were with his friends or with Ian‘s.

     But at this moment, in this emotion, Jonathan could not find himself anywhere in this place. He couldn’t find any happy or good memories that he wanted to keep. How was that possible, after three years?

     All his rage and anger had been building up and now, now it was surfacing because of this damn invitation. After three fucking years, why couldn’t he get Ian to commit to him? The question he kept asking himself, how much shit can one relationship take? He had dealt with Ian spending all of their savings on a boat. A boat that Ian had lost interest in after three months, that they then had to sell for half the original cost. He had dealt with Ian cheating on him not once, but twice with different men. Jonathan had even suggested that they try having an open relationship, but Ian had declined.

     And then disappeared for three days, saying he was on a “runaway weekend with Deanna”. What Ian didn’t know was Deanna had called a day after Ian left, wondering where he was.

     “Has he forgotten his Spa day with me again?” she asked, sounding so heartbroken.

     Jonathan had grown to love a lot about Ian. He had even grown to love his in-laws. But Ian was still dodging the bullet. Every time Jonathan brought up the “Marriage” word, Ian jumped into the nearest book or car, whichever was closest and provided the quickest getaway.

     Jonathan glanced at the invitation again, and felt his emotions once again go up on the spinning wheel. He was happy for Zach and Ann, and a little confused for them. And he was sad for himself, and angry and hurt about Ian. Of these emotions, he chose to go with the anger once again. He fixed himself another drink, and started to march to the exercise room where Ian was.

     He thought, “Even Zach and Ann were getting married in six months, and they weren’t even a “couple”. So why not them? They lived in Washington DC, and it had been legal for over a year, and still nothing. Maybe if I threaten to leave him. No, I don’t want a proposal as an ultimatum.”

     Jon watched as Ian exercised on his stationary bike pedaling on and on but getting nowhere. He could relate to that. He stood there comparing Ian’s small but built body to his larger frame, and got angry at yet another difference between them, another reason for them not to be together. How opposite could two people be and stay together? This was becoming a very serious question in his mind. .

     He watched through the glass door that separated the exercise room from the dining room, clutching his glass tightly and the invitation to the wedding tighter still. He wanted to storm in there and tell Ian it was over. He was unhappy and tired of waiting. He wanted more than great sex and a fabulous house. He wanted a husband.

     But he knew he shouldn’t talk to Ian when he was this emotional, so he swallowed the rest of the drink and headed back to the living room to make another one. Knowing Ian’s routine, he had almost completed his cycling for the day and would be moving on to his weight lifting routine. As Ian dismounted the bike he glanced at Jonathan through the glass, forgot to remove his other foot from the petal, and landed hard upon his ankle.

     Jonathan thought he heard a crunching noise even before the scream. He turned around and threw the glass door open and found Ian had somehow twisted his ankle and his foot so much so that he could not move. Running to him, he wanted to help but was afraid to touch him. He knew Ian well enough to know that when he was in pain, he became a drama queen. The slightest scratch or cut became a reason to visit the emergency room. Jonathan both loved and hated that, mostly because it was the only time Jonathan got to see Ian’s softer side, and really feel that he was needed.

     Ian was still on the bike, cradling one ankle while his other feet appeared still caught in the protective cuff. Jonathan went to him, and tried to figure out how he could help. Ian had tears running down his cheeks as he tried not to move any more than he had to. As Jonathan looked at the foot trapped in the cuff, he started to move toward Ian’s foot. But as he moved, but Ian screamed.
     “Please don’t touch me, Jon. Oh God, please don’t!” Ian partly moaned, and partly screamed, with tears streaming down his face.

     “What can I do?” Jon asked, still shocked by the sight and unsure of how to help.

     “I don’t know. Call Juan, he’s a nurse. He’ll know. Please hurry.” With tears still streaming down his face, Ian tried to move into a more comfortable position and screamed more. Jon ran to the phone in the kitchen and called Juan.

****

My VERY Gay Marriage

        March 7th 2012 , I asked a question: Am I "too gay" for Facebook? I knew I was pointing a loaded gun full of green slime at my face by asking the question, but several comments were made about my content, so I was curious. So, like an idiot, I asked the blanket questions. Most of the responses are sweet, or at least cordial. However, as most as things go, I got one response that furthered the question . . .
     "Umm... Very. It's off putting. Part of me is tempted to hide your posts. There is gay and then there is slapping you in the face with it. You're slapping you in the face with it."
One person responded, which I countered with "I am confused by your statement . Please explain."
She responded: "It seems like every post you put up has the word gay in them. It just seems like you're a "one trick pony." I have a family member that is gay, but he doesn't make it his definition of who he is. When he and his SO join in union be it marriage/commitment ceremony, I will be there for him. He has a job, writes his own comics online (gets paid to do it), loves his family, his pets, and is gay. Has been with his SO longer than I have known my husband. When he and I sit down we can converse about more than him being gay. He seems confident in his sexuality and doesn't make it his only thought of the day, which seems like the only thing you do. It gets tiring seeing all your posts."
      My response was : "My first reaction when I read this post was anger, then I wanted to delete you as a friend. But before I react, I went through my posts, and saw posts about my hair, about my blog, about star wars, and movies, about my passions, and the things that bother me. so if you think I'm a one trick pony, you don't know me. I converse about many things, but I also offer a different perspective, and I hope that will never change. If you are tired of seeing my posts, hide them or delete me, but don't think that makes the issues or me pointing them out go away. I am gay and I am proud, and you just brought out the fight."
      Her response: "Gay and proud, and married to a woman. I know she is a wonderful person, but in my view your being hypocritical do your stance, and doing you and Julie a disservice. What happens when you fall in love and want to marry a gentleman, or if the same happens to her. Hate this post all you want, but if you're standing up for gay rights, be fully who you are or not. I may lose both of you as friends, but honestly it's a mockery of marriage that gay activists are fighting so hard to win."
      My response: "......., you just lost all my respect. You know nothing of my marriage."
      Her response: "You lost my respect when you married a woman that you don't touch sexually, when you should have a married a man that could be a full relationship. You lost my respect when you sit unemployed while your wife works one to two jobs supporting you. I've sat by and said nothing because of my respect for Julie, but you asked and I expanded my information."
     Now, you may be asking why I reposted these comments directly. And the reason is because I didn't want to taint them with my interpretation of them. These are the source of this blog, the place from which my anger dwells.
      People attack me all the time. By staring and making funny faces, by muttering under their breathe, and sometimes, straight out making comments about my hair, or whatever I might by wearing, or the fact I am very openly gay. Most of these attacks I don't care about retaliating upon. However, attacking my wife, my marriage, or my friends, and YOU will find me a different creature, one that few ever want to challenge.
     There are some facts that anyone that is close to me know, and I have decided to share them here, because I choose to be direct.
     1. I am a gay man. I have been since I was six, and playing with other boys. I have tried to change it. I was hard core about changing it for five years. I wanted to be straight so badly if someone had offered to send me to EXODUS I would have gone . . .willingly. I am still gay. There is not amount of beating, teasing, pushing, or nagging that can change this about me.
     2. I am an activist. I have fought for gay rights in every way I can since I came out  the second time at the age of 23. I have worked with or for almost every gay organization in Nashville for the last twelve years. I have helped raise enough money to fund a small country for all the times I volunteered for said organizations. I plan to remain active in gay fundraising because that is my heart, and my breathe, as long as I live. It is burnt in every fiber of my being, to make sure that "the gays" are not treated as second class citizens.
     3. I am more than gay. I am an artist, a lover, a friend. I am family, a shoulder to cry on, and a challenger for those who need it. I am an organizer, a writer, and a protester when needed. I am all these things and so much more . . .but I am still gay. If ever I run for President or apply for a job as a teacher, my being gay affects both. My choices are: Be proud or hide who I am. I don't choose to walk into a room and be the token gay, but I choose to be real with who and what I am. I don't walk up to people and say, "Hi, I'm will and I'm gay." But I do say, "Hi, I'm Will and this is my partner, Brian."
     4. I am married. To my best friend in the entire world. Who I love very very much. And can't stand the thought of life without. Period.
     I was very lucky to meet my soul mate in my twenties, who has been by side for 11 years, and who consented to be my wife almost two years ago. Yes, she is a woman. But whether I'm gay, or she is bisexual is not the point. We are joined because we choose it. And absolutely no one but she and I have any say about our relationship. Period. Very few know what goes on in our bedroom, because we choose that too.
     We have encountered people who have issues with our relationship, but anyone within miles of us know that we have the most functionally, loving union that any two people could hope for. And the Gods and Goddesses bless us each day with that closeness that many marriages could learn from. We have an intimacy that shatters some people's minds because of our complete honesty and trust for one another.
     So, looking at a "full relationship" . . .
     Open  and honest. Check. Loving and passionate. Check. Common interests and goals. Check. Consensual and sane. Check. I don't think I've missed anything.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." Check.
     5. I am unemployed. But I have hopes and dreams of being a writer, so technically I'm "struggling artist". Who is broke. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. My only addiction is writing, which my wife admonishes me to do more. She wants me to pursue my dream, which costs her nothing. She is not working two jobs so I can go to school (which she is paying for), although even if she were, that is a valid agreement. Having no vehicle, and a string of dead end jobs I hated that affected our time together, we both wanted me to do what I'm doing, chasing my dream.
     So, these are my truths used to deflect any "opinions" or self righteous naysayers who think they know what is right for me or my family. Blessed be to those who understand that each must find his or her own road and travel it alone, or in the company of those who understand: Not every path is meant for every person.