Thursday, March 21, 2013
If I call myself an Ally, then I better act like one!
I am an open man. I am open about all aspects of my life. I tell people I am gay, kinky, married, a nerd, and other things that I am not ashamed of. But sometimes being so open causes me to forget open thing. . .other people aren't. And that, THAT is valid too. It is not my place to decide what information YOU should share. That is not an Ally. I do not judge in any way, but I forget that my openness is mine to share. it is not my place to "out" anyone else on anything that i haven't gotten direct permission to reveal.
Example . . .I'm talking to a group of friends, and i'm talking about Bob Johnson. Now, Bob told me that he likes diapers. And/or cross-dressing. And/or he's transgender.Now which of these "facts" are mine to talk about? NONE. Especially if I have not asked Bob if he is open with these things. I should probably assume he is not, and I shouldn't bullhorn (or even whisper) his life. Or things of a sensitive nature. Right?
That's just common sense, hopefully. If I am your ally, I am your protector, your friend. I should not expose your weaknesses or things you are working on, regardless of the intent. I shouldn't tell people your secrets or even possible discreet matters about you. That is not my place as your ally. If I'm not sure you've revealed yourself, I should take caution, and err on the side of SHUTTING MY FUCKING MOUTH.
So what is my role as an ally? To support, protect, help. Period.
And if you are my ally, please take heed of this cautionary note!!