Saturday, May 26, 2012

And the winner is . . .


And That Changed Everything . . .

From author Andy Slayde
Entry 2

     The take out containers were secured in the front seat. Gourmet smells mingling with the crisp scent of cool fall air.
      Almost home.
      The anticipation was unbearable. A romantic dinner for two in front of the fire, which would lead to kisses that still stopped his heart, even after all these years. He’d lay Avery down on the rug; savor the decadent dessert from every inch of his lover’s body.
      A blur of reddish brown jumped onto the road. Riley slammed on the brakes, tires squealing, and sliding on the wet leaves littering the pavement, before colliding with the buck.

 And in 2nd place, with 2 votes each . . .
#3 Andy Slayde
#4 D D Starr
#10 Xara X Xanakas
#11 Kiernan Kelly
#12 Kyle Mankes

And in 3rd place. . . Everyone Else.


Friday, May 25, 2012

Flash Fiction Friday: And That Changed Everything

SO THESE ARE ENTRIES . . . Please feel free to vote by leaving comments, but only one vote per comment. (Comments with more than one will not be counted. Period)
Voting closes on Saturday at 3 pm Central Time. The results will be announced shortly after that.  

This week's theme/title was:  And That Changed Everything

From author Shay MacLean
Entry  1

      Morgan tried to pull out of Evan’s arms as the dance ended, but he spun her so her back was to his front. He leaned in. “Relax, Morgan. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.” He ground his hips against her ass.
     “Evan, let me go. Corin is my best friend. I don’t think she’d appreciate her husband dancing with another woman like this.”
     Soft curves pressed into her from the front. “Oh, I don’t know about dancing with another woman like this. But with you ... I don’t mind.” Corin kissed her cheek.
     “Especially if I can too.”

From author Andy Slayde
Entry 2

     The take out containers were secured in the front seat. Gourmet smells mingling with the crisp scent of cool fall air.
     Almost home.
The anticipation was unbearable. A romantic dinner for two in front of the fire, which would lead to kisses that still stopped his heart, even after all these years.  He’d lay Avery down on the rug; savor the decadent dessert from every inch of his lover’s body.
     A blur of reddish brown jumped onto the road. Riley slammed on the brakes, tires squealing, and sliding on the wet leaves littering the pavement, before colliding with the buck.

From author Andy Slayde
Entry 3

     Avery read the same paragraph for the third time, still not registering what he’d read. He was antsy, eager for Riley to come home. A nice romantic dinner of Blue Heather’s finest take out. Afterwards, they’d go out on the deck under the star filled sky and make out like a couple of
randy teens. It was a little chilly but they’d heat things up in no time.
     The generic ringtone of an unknown caller grabbed Avery’s attention.
     “Hello?” Maybe Riley had to replace his phone.
     “Mr. Miller? This is Sheriff Daniel Harrison, Braeside Police Department. There’s been an accident.”

From author D D Starr
Entry 4

     I was gonna leave, I was gonna leave! I paced back and forth, heart in my throat.  Did I leave a note? Saying what? Should I fold the laundry before I go, check the messages? Shit! Why the fuck did it matter? Would he even notice I was gone? Blinking light on message machine, must check. Message from the lottery corporation. What?  The barcode number from the ticket he called in was a match, please arrange to be there in morning for news conference. Holy shit! Where the fuck was the ticket? Ha. Idiot left his wallet behind this morning.

From author Joy Coop
Entry 5

     I couldn't believe she was back in my bed. It'd been a year since the best thing to happen to me had ended. She was tall, with long black hair and piquant features that spoke of unearthly beauty. I
lay there,her head on my thigh as we relaxed, running fingers through her hair.
     She looked up. "Baby...I know it's been a long time. There's something you need to know." My eyes blinked as her skin tore across her shoulder blades, exposing bronzed clockwork wings that
arched upwards.
     She hid her face, waiting for me. "Do you still love me?"

From author Louisa Bacio
Entry 6

     Rumor Wasted laced up her skates, pulling the strings tight and thinking about the royal thrashing she’d give the other team. As she cruised onto the rink, adrenaline coursed through her body. The power and high she got on the track almost rivaled the glorious afterglow of a good fuck.
     Almost, but not quite.
     A blur of yellow and red smashed into Rumor, slinging her into the rail. She bounced off and landed on her ass. She caught sight of a blonde ponytail bobbing away.
     Deep purple wings unfurled from Rumor’s shoulder blades, and she took off after her assailant.

From author Annette C Macias
Entry 7

     Celia threw open the double doors. She frantically scanned the hotel room and for a second feared she was too late. Then he appeared from the balcony. Already dressed in his black and gray tuxedo, Gabriel almost took her breath away.
    “What are you doing here?” he asked.
     She gathered up her chiffon gown and walked toward him. Just minutes earlier, her stomach had been twisting with doubt. Now Celia knew in her heart she was doing the right thing.
     “I’m here to tell you that I love you and that I don’t think you should marry my sister today.”

From author Kayla Jennings
Entry 8

     Bookworms. They are those people who can tell you every new release and they always have at least five or six books on their person at any given moment. Yeah, they have even been caught sniffing a book more times than they would like to admit. What if I told you that every book ever written and every author that ever lived was a direct result of a human and a bookworm falling in love and having a child? That's insane, right? I thought so, too, until I met my mother, Austen Poe: bookworm. So much for being an orphan.

From author Gary Smith
Entry 9

      The old man sat in his workshop/tool shed with the door closed facing away from the window. He didn’t want anyone to see what he was doing. He had washed and dried it, then carefully oiled it. As he grasped it, he tried to estimate its weight. He already knew its length. He had measured it and had determined its length as seven-and-a half inches. He was pretty proud of that! Soon he would be basking in the adulation of the others in the club. He had slyly pried the others about theirs.
      He knew he had the largest cucumber.

From author Xara X Xanakas
Entry 10

     Five minutes. That's what it took. Five hot, sweaty, dirty minutes in a bathroom stall. The thump-thump-thump of the bass bleeding through the walls, the hands sliding into the front of my pants, pushing them down my hips. Pain, intense, fierce, fading. A hard cock, slick with spit, sliding into me, pounding in time with the music. Palms flat on the wall behind the toilet. Both of us shouting out as we came: me into the bowl, him into me. Crying, wondering just what happened. Why I gave it away. Knowing I can never get it back.
     Lost: one virginity.

From author Kiernan Kelly
Entry 11

     He looked peaceful, lying in a bronze box, eyes closed, hands clasped as though in prayer. He seemed only asleep, not dead.
      The virus that killed him didn't even have a name yet, but it was always lethal, resulting in a swift, if ugly, death. I still couldn't believe he was gone.
      I loved him more than life. I bent to kiss his lips, and whisper to him for the last time. "I'll always love you."
      His eyes flashed opened, the milky film of death still covering them. He reached for me with cold, dead hands.And that changed everything.

From Kyle Mankes
Entry 12

     His hair wasn’t long, but it was shaggy and three weeks overdue for a trim.  He sat in the barber’s chair wondering what he’d do with his life while listening to the familiar sound of the barber’s clippers buzzing.  College starts in a few months and I haven’t picked a major.  Engineer?  Lawyer?  Maybe a doctor?  I need a clear sign.  Then the phone rang.  The barber leaned over to pick up the old style receiver with one hand while clipping with the other.  Then, out of nowhere, the boy sneezed. 
     A chunk of hair went missing. 
     Military it is.

From author Julia Prater
Entry 13

     The day stood poised to take a nosedive into a flaming pile of dogshit.  What with the imminent arrival of my in laws and their three pomeranians I was already agitated.  Add ontop of that the still smoldering meatloaf in the sink and the complete lack of dressing for the salad the dinner as a whole could be considered an unmitigated disaster.  I couldn't leave because they would be arriving any moment.  The knock at the door had me taking a deep cleansing breath.  I opened the door and smiled. 
     Then I thanked the gods for Girl Scouts and cookies.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

About Flash Fiction Friday. . .

I'm declaring tomorrow Flash Fiction Friday on my blog. The idea is simple. . . I will give you the title/theme . . . You will write a story 100 words long (no more, no less) . . . and then we'll let the audience decide who best captured the title/theme. There is no prize at this point, other then maybe self-discipline and a seed for a new story, or stories. Who wants to challenge themselves and others?

The theme will be announced be announced Thursday around 5pm and ANYONE can enter a story until around 3 pm Central Time Friday. You can enter by writing a story the length stated above and emailing that story to by 3 pm Central Time Friday. I will then post all the entries on the my blog Friday afternoon. Ask your friends and family to come read all the entries, and vote for the best one by leaving comments (Only one vote per comment, please) . I will go through the comments and post the winner Saturday afternoon. I reserve the right to bring in other off-line judges if there are not enough comments.

**** Warning: If your entry is less or more than 100 words (hyphenated words are counted separately), it will not be posted. PERIOD.  And I will deal with spacing issues, but otherwise, I will not edit or correct spelling or grammar. ****

                  This week's theme is : And That Changed Everything

You can write about whatever you what regarding that theme. Just remember 100 words exactly.  Have fun and get to writing!

My Example:

      The little woman, sat staring out into space. Her face of wrinkles, gave her age away. One right arm relaxed into a plate of food, elbow covered in ketchup, as she ate. Her other arm rested on top of her bag made of cheap black vinyl, with her billfold resting right on top. The place was empty except the employees in the back taking a smoke.
       The man approached from behind.
       “Gimme the bag.” His eyes, blood shot and broken. She reached in her bag and pulled out her gun and shot him in the face. Her eyes glimmered excitedly.

SO YOU'RE ENTERING . . .  Thanks! And some last minute helpful tips!


2. Comment below on Thursday, saying, "I'm in" or "I wanna" or something like that so I can keep an eye out for your e-mail.

3. Email your story to by 3 pm Central Time Friday. (I will post all stories as I get them, but voting will not begin until 3 pm Friday. )

4. Have your family your family, friends, and whatever and vote for the best story (perhaps yours) by leaving comments Friday or early Saturday (voting cuts off at 3 pm Central Saturday) .

5. Come back Saturday after 3pm  and check out / congratulation the winner.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A circle of a little

The purpose of this poem was connect several ideas, children, belief, and change . As one can tell, I am working through some childhood issues while understands those issues helped me grow into the man I have become. So. . .

As little children, we were read fairy tales, and told they could be true,
Some were raised to believe they could succeed in all they do.
Some were given anything and everything their little hearts desire
While hearts like mine, put on the line, and tested through the fire.
I tell myself my parents cared, they tried to understand,
At nine years old, I felt so cold, without want or demand.
I'm sure they tried to meet my needs, I tell myself to breathe,
But holding clothes beneath my nose, as it continues to bleed.
I try to find the happy place, that place of fairy tales,
But the harder I try, the farther away,
and the more I seem to fail.
I tell myself the reason why I long to have a future filled with kids
is because I promise the universe I'll do better than they did.
I know how hard this life is and how to feel alone
And I swear to do my best to make this change my own.
TO make the world a more loving place than it was when I began,
to never give up for more than a moment, although I am one little man.
A little seed goes the earth, a little sun makes it grow,
a little rain waters the earth, and a little flower's color shows.
One person stops and sees the flower, and smiles on his way,
the smile spreads, and someone laughs, and carries the brightness away.
That's all that takes for the whole world to change, a belief, love, and a smile,
and one little change can get carried away, as simple as the belief of a child.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

That Kid

The hardest part about writing fiction is when it requires the truth. The following is a true story. It was written as part of the Hop Against Homophobia (HAH) to share my experiences and my POV.

I am that kid, bloody and bruised,
thrown on the sidewalk, wasted and used.
I am that kid in different clothes,
beat up and spit on for words that he chose.
I am that kid, no belief left in God,
that Christians reviled, and Samiritans robbed.
I am that kid that stayed late at school,
to avoid the cheers and the sneers of the "cool".
I am that kid that covered the mirrors,
that quietly hurt myself, screaming through tears.
I am that kid, coming out to my folks,
only to find I am the butt of their jokes.
I am that kid, hit and thrown to the ground,
you said you'd protect, but you were never around.
I am that kid who couldn't take any more,
so I closed off my heart, and prayed to my core.
I am that kid, that pray and pray,
since suicide's sin, kill me another way.
I am that kid, who lived through that shit,
now I AM STRONGER, and on the other side of it.
I am that man, who sees the truth,
that people are mean, and worse, in their youth.
I am that man who understands how
the same ones who made fun are all sorry now.
I am that man, they all wanted to be,
even in youth, cause the truth set me free.
I am that man, who chooses to love,
stronger than hate, I rise above.
I am that man though the kid is still me,
the only difference is now, I'm happy to be.
I am that man who journeyed though hate
bruised but not broken, who chose his own fate.
I am that man who will love who he please
No apologies, no regrets, 'til this life, it does cease.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

What's the point? Don't judge. Just LOVE.

    I am a normal guy. I mean, when my hair is not purple, I blend in a crowd. I am an average guy, a little overweight, with hazel eyes and glasses. I dont have a loud presence or an outstanding personality, unless i choose to let these things out. If you didnt know me, we could be standing next to each other in an elevator, or on a bus, or in the grocery line.    I love Jason Mraz and sing along with most of the music on the radio. I read Stephen King and a lot of other authors. And I love vegetables. I love my parents, but they still annoy me. And I am married. To a woman. I love her more than anything in my life. She is my best friend, and my soul mate.
   And I am GAY.
   And I don't see any part of my life as "wrong" or "sinful".
   Many people get confused because I am very open and honest, both about my marriage, and my homosexuality. I have been called a traitor to gay rights and gay activism because I followed my heart, instead of living in other people's fear.
   You see, Julie is my partner, my ally in life. She fights for my causes and my beliefs, and my freedom. As I do hers. I push her toward her goals, and she pushes me. She surrounds me with encouragement, and love, and support. There are plenty of aspects of our relationship most people will never understand. And some people judge us. OH FUCKIN' WELL . . .
     See,  even as some people read this, they will have thoughts like "You're not really gay." or "What is the point of your rant?"
     Love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
     I am not a Christian, but I believe in Love. Above all things.
     I recently met another person (recently, as in three months ago) and I love him as well. So, now I have a wife and a boyfriend. And they know each other, and love each other as well. We act in accordance with this.
     Brian has a part of my heart and my mind that Julie doesn't. He also is my partner, sexual and otherwise. He fulfills needs that Julie can't and gives me perspective I wouldn't have otherwise. We fight for each other's dreams and hopes, in different ways. It's hard to explain, but I understand it.
    My point is . . . Love. Don't judge. Love. Dammit.
    My arrangement is not for everyone, and it is easy to look at it and think that it is wrong, or unethical, or whatever word(s) those who are scared of the unknown use. I personally love my relationships. I honor them.
    Find what works for you, even if people call you "gay" or "queer" or "dyke" or "unconventional". 
Celebrate YOUR life . . .with LOVE. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

My letter to EW (Entertainment Weekly)

     Let me begin by saying that Entertainment Weekly (EW) is my favorite magazine. I read almost religiously. And almost every review I've read I either agreed with or at least understood. However, this week when I read Melissa Maerz's review of Adam Lambert's new CD, I felt that the review was in one word: homophobic. And to add a couple more words: uninformative and just plain rude. I am not the biggest fan of Adam, or his music, but in reading this review, it felt as if Ms. Maerz had more of an issue with his style (calling him Glammy, and other jabs) then with his music. 
     After listening to the album several times, I still could not see the "big gay dance-club" reference or the "left the closet far behind" when they are no direct references to being gay or the BDSM lifestyle. My point in this is such: Not liking the music is expected, but attacking a person's characteris not ok when it is a "music review". I have shared this review with several others, asking for their take, in case I'm being oversensitive. But based on the feedback I have received I am not.
     In conclusion, I can not and will not make big threats about never reading EW again. But I will say I'm disappointed this review ran and as for Ms. Maerz, I know I will be avoiding any articles she has a byline on.
                                                                             With Sadness, but still yours,
                                                                                        w t prater

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Gayest Con with the Most Fun

Joe Phillip's artwork
     OutlantaCon has been a convention on my must list for three years now, and this year it finally happened. I was pretty proud of the fact that I arranged my own ride to Atlanta, set up a roommate, and paid for the Convention all on my own (sorta, lol.) The point is that it was one of the first Cons I wanted, for me, by me. And it was so worth it.
     Julie dropped me off at the Greyhound bus station at 7 in the morning, and the bus left Nashville at the right time, and the ride was fairly uneventful. Once I got to Atlanta, I started texting Angelia Sparrow, who I was suppose to meet to get me to the Hotel. She helped me find the Marta station and take the rail-bus to the Perimeter mall to meet her and Gabriel Coop. I hugged them both with excitement, and then ran to get food. After I finished eating and they finished shopping, we loaded all our bags in Angelia’s car and headed to the hotel.
     We arrived at the hotel a few minutes later, and I checked in at the con table, while texting Kiernan Kelly and her husband, who were my roomies for this Con. While roaming around looking for them, I ended up in the dealer room, and nearly squee would when I saw Eden Winters and J P Barnaby at one of the tables. I didn’t know they were gonna be there. I hugged them hard, and let them know that I was really happy to see them (duh to the squee, uh?) .
      I found Kiernan and headed up to the room to shower, and get ready for my 7 pm panel about Joss Whedon. I spent an hour talking to Kiernan and her husband about writing, houses, and publicity. I am so grateful I didn’t drive her nuts with all my questions, and I feel like I know her better after picking her brain, and sharing a room with them for a weekend. I am grateful beyond words that they are such kind and wonderful people.
     I went to the open ceremonies, which were short and effectual. And then my panel, which I was honored to share with Tony Gowell, Shae Connor, and T C Blue. We had a fair attendance, and a lot of fun, arguing and agreeing and arguing again about various aspects of the Whedonverse including: Either or not Eliza Dushku can act, what addicted whom to what, and what really happens behind the scenes of DragonCon. It was very informative, and very chaotic.
     After eating Sushi and Sweet and Sour chicken with Kiernan and her hubbie, K and I headed to the Male Anatomy Workshop presented by Hishicho. While very informative, we mostly sat around and listened to Hishicho talk about penis, and other related anatomy questions. Awesome workshop, fyi.
Even after a long day, I still wasn’t feeling sleepy so I went to the game and played a game of Cards Against Humanity with a bunch of people I didn’t know. However, I came to know them, as the evening got later, and funnier. Hishicho singing and dancing around the room, the flask and bottle o’liquor that was being passed around the table mixed to make the evening incredibly funny.
     Saturday morning came too early, but fully welcomed as I got to have breakfast with Eden Winters, and get to know her better. I learned a lot her and why she got into writing. And then rushed off to my ten o’clock, Gay Characters on TV, which was suppose to be me, Shae Connor, T C Blue, and Kiernan Kelly. Only TC showed up but we still had fun with just us, and three audience members. We discussed favorite gay shows and characters while nearly freezing to death in our panel room. I think we all walked away frostbitten but laughing.
     I thought I would spend the rest of day chilling and relaxing, but instead I ended up going to one Writer’s panel after another. I spent eight hours learning:
1.) about killer first lines by giving examples of what does and does not catch an editor’s attention.
2.) how to deal with publishers and editors, and what not to do.
3.) creating opening paragraphs that demand the attention of the reader
4.) character creation from the inside out, the classic dos and dont’s
5.) the difference between plotting and storytelling, and better ways of doing both
6. ) how to get yourself and your work out in the universe by bogging and using other social media
7.) Teen Fiction, what is it, how to do it well, and houses known for it.
8.) learning more about the difference in Lit and Romance, and other similar arguments.
      A Special Thank You to all the authors and editors who taught: R Alan Stiler, Lee Martindale, Kayelle Allen, Angelia Sparrow, Kiernan Kelly, Java Green, Andrew Greenberg, Hishicho, Andrew Greenberg, Dennis Upkins, Eugie Foster, Paul Bright, and Kage Alan. When I publish my first novel and wins lots of awards, I’ll be doing it thanks to all of you.
      Saturday night is XXX rated and won’t be in this review, but it may make its way into one of my erotic stories down the road. Names changed maybe slightly, but only to protect the guilty.
     Sunday morning was a relaxed one, being that I didn’t get back to my room until 5am. I crawled out of bed, showered, and glanced at the clock. Nearly noon. I get to the dealer’s room to collect a few more books, and gifts for friends. Then I hung out with J P and Eden at their table for a while. I roamed around saying good-bye to the hot men of the Con and thanking all the staff. I got a few pictures to commemorate this wonderful, and to end my weekend I got to have lunch with Angelia Sparrow and Gabriel. Then Marta and the bus ride home.
     Overall, this was a fabulous weekend, and OutlantaCon is on my definitely on my list of Cons to regular. In addition, I hope it grows in size, and continues to be of great quality.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Trespassing (and Hopefully Transforming) Our Musical Stale Market

     Ok, I'll admit, I'm a little pissed as I write this. I'm listening to Adam Lambert's Trespassing (available May 15) after reading a review by EW's Melissa Maerz. The review was in my opinion was in one word : homophobic. Not to mention, uninformative and just snarky and plain rude. And while normally when I read a review that hates something I love I just ignore it, I felt this one needed a counterpoint.
     I am not a huge Adam Lambert fan. I don't watch American Idol. So I knew little of him when I bought his first album. I wore it out because in a world of sorta Out musicians, Adam was a proud gay man. And he could sing. And he made great music. Some of it was dance-able, some of it was thought provoking. And I loved the mix.
    His second album is almost exactly the same, except it's better. It is not the "big gay dance-club album" as Ms. Melissa states. Because, IMHO, a dance club album has awesome beats with very little lyrical strength. This album was very careful planned to mix dance beats, with a deeper message.
    I'm not gonna say this is the best album I've ever heard, but as I listened to it I could heard a man pouring himself out in an interesting mix of heavy techno-ish, 80's, and vocal weaving that should make any producer pleased. And I, as the average listener, was intrigued until the very end. And happy to hit repeat on the entire CD.
     I listen to a lot of music in every genre, and I can say, that this album strikes me as one of the best of 2012. About the only part of her review I agreed with Ms Melissa is her stating that AL is out as a "superfan of funk, '80s-night house, and Studio 54 grooves", but he proved this with his first album. He simply uses this album to re-re-introduce these elements (and many others) into a musical stale market.
    Trespassing kicks off the mix, simply stating AL is not afraid of nothing. Cuckoo reaffirms this.
Shady, Naked Love, and Kickin' In scream sexual appeal. Never Close Our Eyes is a life living athem (with Bruno Mars). Pop That Lock is all about freeing yourself. Better Than I  Know Myself is about being true to  . . .you guessed it, yourself (I based that on the video more than the song itself). Broken English is about communication. Underneath is about revealing everything, no secrets. Chokehold is about the pain/pleasure aspect of any loving relationship, either it's about BDSM is questionable.  Outlaws of Love does not mention being gay or gay marriage, so unless AL has said this song is about gay marriage, it can be about anyone who feels their love is forbidden.
    Of course, this is what I understood listening this album, and even if this translation is not exactly what I was meant to get, this album definitively beat a CD of twelve tracks about making love or breaking up that is formulatic and boring. Or music that is a representative of only one sexuality, whether that sexuality is straight, gay, or anywhere between.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My VERY Gay Marriage

        March 7th 2012 , I asked a question: Am I "too gay" for Facebook? I knew I was pointing a loaded gun full of green slime at my face by asking the question, but several comments were made about my content, so I was curious. So, like an idiot, I asked the blanket questions. Most of the responses are sweet, or at least cordial. However, as most as things go, I got one response that furthered the question . . .
     "Umm... Very. It's off putting. Part of me is tempted to hide your posts. There is gay and then there is slapping you in the face with it. You're slapping you in the face with it."
One person responded, which I countered with "I am confused by your statement . Please explain."
She responded: "It seems like every post you put up has the word gay in them. It just seems like you're a "one trick pony." I have a family member that is gay, but he doesn't make it his definition of who he is. When he and his SO join in union be it marriage/commitment ceremony, I will be there for him. He has a job, writes his own comics online (gets paid to do it), loves his family, his pets, and is gay. Has been with his SO longer than I have known my husband. When he and I sit down we can converse about more than him being gay. He seems confident in his sexuality and doesn't make it his only thought of the day, which seems like the only thing you do. It gets tiring seeing all your posts."
      My response was : "My first reaction when I read this post was anger, then I wanted to delete you as a friend. But before I react, I went through my posts, and saw posts about my hair, about my blog, about star wars, and movies, about my passions, and the things that bother me. so if you think I'm a one trick pony, you don't know me. I converse about many things, but I also offer a different perspective, and I hope that will never change. If you are tired of seeing my posts, hide them or delete me, but don't think that makes the issues or me pointing them out go away. I am gay and I am proud, and you just brought out the fight."
      Her response: "Gay and proud, and married to a woman. I know she is a wonderful person, but in my view your being hypocritical do your stance, and doing you and Julie a disservice. What happens when you fall in love and want to marry a gentleman, or if the same happens to her. Hate this post all you want, but if you're standing up for gay rights, be fully who you are or not. I may lose both of you as friends, but honestly it's a mockery of marriage that gay activists are fighting so hard to win."
      My response: "......., you just lost all my respect. You know nothing of my marriage."
      Her response: "You lost my respect when you married a woman that you don't touch sexually, when you should have a married a man that could be a full relationship. You lost my respect when you sit unemployed while your wife works one to two jobs supporting you. I've sat by and said nothing because of my respect for Julie, but you asked and I expanded my information."
     Now, you may be asking why I reposted these comments directly. And the reason is because I didn't want to taint them with my interpretation of them. These are the source of this blog, the place from which my anger dwells.
      People attack me all the time. By staring and making funny faces, by muttering under their breathe, and sometimes, straight out making comments about my hair, or whatever I might by wearing, or the fact I am very openly gay. Most of these attacks I don't care about retaliating upon. However, attacking my wife, my marriage, or my friends, and YOU will find me a different creature, one that few ever want to challenge.
     There are some facts that anyone that is close to me know, and I have decided to share them here, because I choose to be direct.
     1. I am a gay man. I have been since I was six, and playing with other boys. I have tried to change it. I was hard core about changing it for five years. I wanted to be straight so badly if someone had offered to send me to EXODUS I would have gone . . .willingly. I am still gay. There is not amount of beating, teasing, pushing, or nagging that can change this about me.
     2. I am an activist. I have fought for gay rights in every way I can since I came out  the second time at the age of 23. I have worked with or for almost every gay organization in Nashville for the last twelve years. I have helped raise enough money to fund a small country for all the times I volunteered for said organizations. I plan to remain active in gay fundraising because that is my heart, and my breathe, as long as I live. It is burnt in every fiber of my being, to make sure that "the gays" are not treated as second class citizens.
     3. I am more than gay. I am an artist, a lover, a friend. I am family, a shoulder to cry on, and a challenger for those who need it. I am an organizer, a writer, and a protester when needed. I am all these things and so much more . . .but I am still gay. If ever I run for President or apply for a job as a teacher, my being gay affects both. My choices are: Be proud or hide who I am. I don't choose to walk into a room and be the token gay, but I choose to be real with who and what I am. I don't walk up to people and say, "Hi, I'm will and I'm gay." But I do say, "Hi, I'm Will and this is my partner, Brian."
     4. I am married. To my best friend in the entire world. Who I love very very much. And can't stand the thought of life without. Period.
     I was very lucky to meet my soul mate in my twenties, who has been by side for 11 years, and who consented to be my wife almost two years ago. Yes, she is a woman. But whether I'm gay, or she is bisexual is not the point. We are joined because we choose it. And absolutely no one but she and I have any say about our relationship. Period. Very few know what goes on in our bedroom, because we choose that too.
     We have encountered people who have issues with our relationship, but anyone within miles of us know that we have the most functionally, loving union that any two people could hope for. And the Gods and Goddesses bless us each day with that closeness that many marriages could learn from. We have an intimacy that shatters some people's minds because of our complete honesty and trust for one another.
     So, looking at a "full relationship" . . .
     Open  and honest. Check. Loving and passionate. Check. Common interests and goals. Check. Consensual and sane. Check. I don't think I've missed anything.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." Check.
     5. I am unemployed. But I have hopes and dreams of being a writer, so technically I'm "struggling artist". Who is broke. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. My only addiction is writing, which my wife admonishes me to do more. She wants me to pursue my dream, which costs her nothing. She is not working two jobs so I can go to school (which she is paying for), although even if she were, that is a valid agreement. Having no vehicle, and a string of dead end jobs I hated that affected our time together, we both wanted me to do what I'm doing, chasing my dream.
     So, these are my truths used to deflect any "opinions" or self righteous naysayers who think they know what is right for me or my family. Blessed be to those who understand that each must find his or her own road and travel it alone, or in the company of those who understand: Not every path is meant for every person.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Simple things instead.

  Every word I say
  Will be watched like a hawk
And with that thought
I want to explain my theory
   It could be bunnies
   or honeys
      or simply a sunny day,
      whatever makes you happy.
Searching for money,
   and things that fade,
   that are grey and all burn away.
That my friend is the sign
 of insanity
     Free your mind,
     let it roam,
  and it will find it's
      place at home.
In the simple pleasures of
reading a book,
     solving a problem,
    travel and look.
Stop destroying the simple things,
                     all to become kings
                     and queens in countries
                          with hateful themes.
As a child, be lead.
                            Simple things instead.