Wednesday, May 16, 2012

What's the point? Don't judge. Just LOVE.

    I am a normal guy. I mean, when my hair is not purple, I blend in a crowd. I am an average guy, a little overweight, with hazel eyes and glasses. I dont have a loud presence or an outstanding personality, unless i choose to let these things out. If you didnt know me, we could be standing next to each other in an elevator, or on a bus, or in the grocery line.    I love Jason Mraz and sing along with most of the music on the radio. I read Stephen King and a lot of other authors. And I love vegetables. I love my parents, but they still annoy me. And I am married. To a woman. I love her more than anything in my life. She is my best friend, and my soul mate.
   And I am GAY.
   And I don't see any part of my life as "wrong" or "sinful".
   Many people get confused because I am very open and honest, both about my marriage, and my homosexuality. I have been called a traitor to gay rights and gay activism because I followed my heart, instead of living in other people's fear.
   You see, Julie is my partner, my ally in life. She fights for my causes and my beliefs, and my freedom. As I do hers. I push her toward her goals, and she pushes me. She surrounds me with encouragement, and love, and support. There are plenty of aspects of our relationship most people will never understand. And some people judge us. OH FUCKIN' WELL . . .
     See,  even as some people read this, they will have thoughts like "You're not really gay." or "What is the point of your rant?"
     Love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
     I am not a Christian, but I believe in Love. Above all things.
     I recently met another person (recently, as in three months ago) and I love him as well. So, now I have a wife and a boyfriend. And they know each other, and love each other as well. We act in accordance with this.
     Brian has a part of my heart and my mind that Julie doesn't. He also is my partner, sexual and otherwise. He fulfills needs that Julie can't and gives me perspective I wouldn't have otherwise. We fight for each other's dreams and hopes, in different ways. It's hard to explain, but I understand it.
    My point is . . . Love. Don't judge. Love. Dammit.
    My arrangement is not for everyone, and it is easy to look at it and think that it is wrong, or unethical, or whatever word(s) those who are scared of the unknown use. I personally love my relationships. I honor them.
    Find what works for you, even if people call you "gay" or "queer" or "dyke" or "unconventional". 
Celebrate YOUR life . . .with LOVE. 


  1. Such a good post and you're so right, people should do what makes them happy and helps them feel fulfilled. I'm happy that you're doing that and that you have two people who love you, support and encourage you and can take care of those two sides of you. Rock your love, my friend, celebrate it and I will celebrate it with you.

  2. Wow, thank you for this post! I think it's wonderful that you've found what you have, both of your partners sound like incredible people.

    Who needs labels, right? Love and life is what it is.


  3. You enjoy your life and it shows, so you're doing it right. Hugs.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. As long as you're happy, we will love and support you in all things. Glad you've found Brian. You'll need to tell me about him!!!

  6. Your post honestly made me feel so good to read. Thank you :)

  7. Your post is excellent. Love. Don't Judge. Love. So, so true.

    I think part of society's problem is the need to label or quantify everything, and when it comes to love, to just living one's life, it's not possible or even reasonable to do so.

    All the best to you and yours.