Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Ready for a fight, and aiming to lose. . . .

     I don't spend a lot of my life complaining these days. I use to. I use to bitch, moan, whine and complain about everything. And then . . . at some point, I don't remember quite when, I just stopped. I came to the realization that all that didn't do a spit's worth of good. So, for the last two years or so, I've tried not to say negative things about people, goals, or myself.
    The problem is that trying to be that way, I went to the opposite extreme. Where if anything was wrong, I ignored it, especially if it presented a challenge in "Being Positive". If someone was habitually rude, depressed, or negative, I stayed away from them.  I still loved/love them, I just reasoned that I couldn't be pulled back into that black hole. If a problem seemed overwhelming, I avoided it.
     And hence, the introduction of one of my most noticable problems, my weight. All through school, I was a skinny kid. And even into my early twenties, because I walked several miles every day, I stayed in shape. But here I am, over thirty, and now I weigh 250 pounds. Now some people, particularly people larger than me scoff at my weight issue. What they don't realize (or don't care to know) is that I have difficulty doing things that when I was younger, and more in shape, I did with ease. And now it has come to the point that it is unacceptable to me.
     I have difficulty getting up in the morning, like I have to push myself up off the day like a pregnant woman. Sometimes to get up, I have to rock my body into a sitting up position. I hate bending over even to tie my shoes, so I usually wear flip flops. I have gone from wearing medium t-shirts and 32 waist pants to extra large shirts and 40 waist pants. And I am tired. And I am tired of being tired. After years of walking miles a day, now I hate walking a half mile from my home to the main street near my house.
     And so, I'm done. I'm done making excuses. I'm ready to fight. And lose. Lots of weight. So I've started: Drinking only water and milk. Tracking my food intake. Walking daily. And joining my wife on Spark People. Stay tuned as I work to lose 30 to 50 pounds by October. And I believe in myself to attain this goal, and please help me keep motivated.


  1. Hi there, I am now 39 years old and have struggled with weight since high school. I starved down to 120 pounds then, but now I am 300. Despite this, I was able to do my job as a hospital nurse pretty well. I decided to lose last year and lost 40 lbs using sparkpeople! Unfortunately I was found to have a blood disorder and got nervous and stopped doing my workouts. However, now I am working out six to eight hours per week plus couch to 5k. I'm proof that heavy people can exercise and have fun. Please try to have fun. Brag about your success, don't worry about shortcomings. I want all people to forget the notion that fitness is only for skinny people. Thanks for writing about your journey.

  2. :) Im on spark.. GaylaAlex if you want to find me there too. I dont post there much these days but hoping to get back in the habit now that the SELF madness has ended!

  3. Will, I know there are many who scoff at those smaller than them. I'm one of them from time to time, and I tend to do it to people who grab an inch of skin from their frame and complain how they're fat.

    It has nothing to do with proportion or comparison. If you are ready to lose the weight, then that is what you need to do for you. I'm quite proud of you as a friend, and I look forward to the inspiration I know you'll gain and the emergence on the outside of who you desire to be.