Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Tornado of Words and Emotions

     Every day you learn something different.

     Anyone who knows me knows I'm fairly direct. I say what I mean and I mean it exactly as I say it, unless I give a disclamier, which I often do. But today I learned that even though you may speak directly, people often interpret what you say into what they want to hear, or don't want to hear, whichever validates what they want to think.

     I can say "Wow! These bananas are yellow." And depending on those listening, they can hear, "Wow, they're ripe" or "I really want them" or they can go dirty, and become sexual thoughts. Those are the funniest, and what generally happens in my circle. Almost anything said can and will become something sexual.

     But sometimes, sometimes, things are misheard. And things become unbearable.

     As I write this, I have a tornado of emotions rolling around inside me. I am hurt. I am angry. I am sad. I am confused. I am relieved. And around and around this emotions go. My partner and I have been together a little over three months. Things were not always fabo, but generally, we worked things out. This weekend however, a lot of things were say, some of which were heard incorrectly, and it resulted in a huge blowout and several days of silence. Then another blow out, and tonight because I can not help him understand me, I am breaking our relationship off.

     The last straw was when I read a post online about our relationship that although I completely disagreed with it, it completely showed me how he viewed our relationship and me, and "his truth" breaks my heart. There is nothing in this world harder than breaking off a relationship with someone when you realize that there is great potential for that relationship to be wonderful, but equal potential for the relationship to destroy you both.
     SO. . .it is my decision not to place myself in a situation that will hurt me over and over again. It is my decision to protect my heart in knowing that I did the best I could, and I am eternally sorry if that is not enough.


  1. ((hugs)) to you. I know it can be so hard. Stay strong.

  2. Sorry to hear it. Ending a relationship is never easy but sometimes it must be done. :o(

  3. I do hope that if it's possible to salvage what's there, continue on and grow stronger that a way is found. If not, then I hope things end on a peaceful note for you both.

  4. I'm sorry that you are hurting. If you need to talk, you know where I am.

  5. Awww honey I'm sorry. I just went through the same thing. Sometimes you have to end a relationship that made you happy every so often in order to grow and be happy all the time (or rather most of the time). I'm sorry you're experiencing this heartbreak my friend, but I'm so proud of you for deciding to take that step and protect yourself. That's what's most important. *hugz*

  6. *hugs* Sorry you're going through that, but remember you are the tornado, and it's your passion that fuels it. It's never wrong; it's just different categories. Don't let it dim your F5-level enthusiasm and energy.


  7. ((((HUGS)))) So sorry hun...I wish you didn't have to go through this.